The Importance of Writer-Friends

York Milner

 “Writing, at its best, is a lonely life.” Ernest Hemingway.

Last week I travelled to York for the weekend to meet fellow writers and online friends, a few of whom I’ve met before. Finding my author tribe has been incredibly rewarding, supportive and therapeutic. Meeting with a group of like-minded writers is important, because even at the best of times, writing is a lonely business. We share our passion for writing, we understand pitfalls and disappointments, we provide support and encouragement and also wave a flag for each other when one of us achieves success.

Writers spend a great deal of time inside our own heads while living in a fictional world, which makes it all the more refreshing to find other people to talk with about our favourite subjects: books, words and stories.

Despite having supportive partners, family and friends, fellow writers just ‘get it’ when you’re having a moment of imposter syndrome. Even successful writers with years of experience and many publications, can have days when they doubt the quality of their work.

Another reason to seek out writer-friends is that we can learn from each other and provide practical advice and support. I frequently meet up with members of Ampersand Fiction Critique Group in Nottingham town centre. We share thoughts and ideas over lunch and we’re never bored with the subject of writing and all it entails. We help each other out in so many ways, passing on information, emotional support, reading each other’s work and re-sharing posts for marketing and critiquing. Through the love of writing, we've become friends and when we don’t meet, we text or email.

I initially joined a writing group where members were aiming to get an article published in a local newspaper. That is a fine aspiration, but I wanted to meet other writers who were serious about their author careers. I joined a different group where its writers were, or aspired to be, novelists. Some of us created an offshoot group from this club and Ampersand Fiction Critique Group was formed. Reading and reporting on each other’s work is incredibly helpful. Your work, seen through a fresh set of eyes, can highlight plot holes and discrepancies as well as boost confidence when receiving praise. In addition it’s a place where you can get give and receive constructive feedback.

Joining a writers’ Facebook group is a great way to meet people. It was from an online Facebook group that I met so many writers in York on 13^th September 2025. If someone poses a question or relates an experience they’ve had regarding their work in progress, we all offer some small snippet of advice for support. It doesn’t hurt that we eat cream cheese and smoked salmon sandwiches and fresh cream scones while we’re discussing our books!

Providing help to fellow authors is a great way to build relationships. Perhaps you could offer to host interviews with them on your own platforms, or do newsletter swaps. We could support fellow writers by reviewing books for each other on our social media pages or website.

Writer-focused events are a great way to meet others, as too is signing up to a writing course or writers’ retreat. Authors are often quite reclusive and can find it difficult to approach new people, so you really do have to force yourself out of your comfort zone.

Search for hashtags on Facebook or Instagram, such as #writingcommunty #amwriting or #lovewriting. Authors also go online on certain days, like #WritingWednesday #ThursdayThoughts or #FollowFriday. This is a good way to build relationships and before long you’ll be messaging certain authors you feel a connection with. Reading writing blogs and leaving comment will help others to remember your name.

Connect with a wide variety of authors, but remember to reach out to writers like you, for example, self-published, traditionally published, writers who are querying and those writing their first book. It can be helpful to share trials and errors, answer questions or suggest ideas.

Your family and friends say: When is your next book coming out?

Fellow writers say: I noticed your Goodreads giveaway. I entered so everyone on my feed would see it. Of course I’ll pre-order regardless. Two months to go! Your newsletter looks great, by the way. Good luck.

Your friends and family say: Your book is almost out. I bet you’re going to be rich and famous.

Fellow writers say: Not long until your book is out. How are you holding up? I’ve recommended you as a guest on this great blog I know. Keep an eye out for an email from someone named Jill. I have my calendar marked for your release day and will post my review online first thing.

Family and friends say: You’re still editing? Really?

Fellow writers say: How are your edits going? I think I’m on my seventh draft. I found the most horrifying typo on Page 214 and I don’t think I’ll ever feel ready to sign off on this thing! Keep going and let me know if I can help.

Arlette's Story in Waterstones

Finding your tribe isn’t just about getting support when you need it. It’s about actively participating in a wonderful community to which you belong, sharing in one another’s successes, reading work that will share the shelf with yours, and making real friends in the process.

We’re in this together. Thank goodness for writer friends!